Its funny to think about now, but how in the world do you slow down a relationship of the heart? First of all you have to understand that any of these people i was communicating with could have been mr right...they all had the potential to be. Most of these men (without doing a single thing) were more suited to me than an entire list of what i wanted in a partner!
Then of course, there are the ones you find physically attractive too. Only one base left, for the perfect home run! When god moves two hearts together, and somehow your the only two people on the planet that could ever be so compatible, so perfect for one another, and so out of your mind crazy with how rediculous all this sounds, that you just KNOW it has to be right! This is the kind of love that is so deep you cant find human words to describe it, you get overwhelmed with joy thinking about it, and it changes the way you think, act, see and hear everything in your world! It brings out the best in you, but also knows the worst in you. It respects, it yearns, it links and it shares.
So this brings me back to the question we started with. How in the world do you slow down a relationship of the heart? YOU DONT. Not one that god has put together anyway.
You see i very much trust god with my husband picking, as my device for such a job has been broken for, oh lets say 15yrs!!! I think he has it all figured out alittle better than i do right now. And god is making that evident in both our hearts.
One problem, only minor. And whats a problem for God anyway? NOTHING...right? James lives on the otherside of the world. And we have yet to meet in person. And already god has made our hearts, minds and spirits so sewn together that we are ruined for any other relationship ever?! once again, crazy talk. I know i know, i am a 33 year old mum. I have my own business, dreams, goals, passions, an established life here in australia. And yet god has showed me this new, huge, awesome life that he has planned for me, my children and what he is going to do through this new relationship. I have been asking god to direct my walk and believing he would for so long now, why is it i would question what i have received?....who am i to question? My spirit is seeking god, and god first and that is why i believe it when god tells me, this is for real.
But i'm not sure the rest of those in my inner circle will be so happy. How do i explain something that i myself do not understand? It is a spiritual connection first and foremost. What about the children's fathers? (yes there are 2) things could get alittle overwhelming here if it wasnt for the peace i feel. but man oh man... this is what it is. And i have to start letting everyone know so they can be prepared for what is going to happen next...
Monday, July 11, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
eharmony
Well, i guess there is no hiding it now.
Several weeks ago i was tempted to begin browsing the endless "classifieds" of the online singles market. I must say, that while i viewed this as an extremely acceptable thing for others to do, it certainly wasnt something i would ever admit to doing myself. I am merely 33, and have never struggled to find a relationship ever. However i've never been married, have been left at the alter more than once and haven't got the best track record for finding suitable 'life partners'.
Alas 5 weeks on and here i am, telling the whole world.
It all began as a harmless research project for my best friend D. She is in her 40's and is very ready to met mr Right. According to the stats and endless moaning by woman, finding love over 40's isn't as easy as one would think. In order to give D the best odds possible eharmony seemed like the logical choice. Bere in mind we live in a small seaside community. I think this whole thing was my idea, in all honesty and perhaps i even dare i say hustled her along on the search front. But back to my story...
It began harmlessly enough - free profile, get your matches for free, etc. Well after 1 hour of answering questions about myself and what it is i wanted in someone else i was beginning to understand how this system of matching might just be on to something.
eharmony have a great marketing strategy. They show your profile to other matches, but no-one can communicate with you unless you sign up. Well i wasn't thinking of signing up, but i wasnt about to waste all that effort either...besides what could it hurt?
Oh deary me, here began an obsession with online dating. My iphone lived in my hands those first few weeks, no matter where i was i was laughing, writing, reading, archiving potential matches...by this point i had almost forgotten this was supposed to be about D, and not me!
It didnt take long for me to figure out who i liked and who i didnt. But every single match had the potential to be Mr Right, so long as i could factor in the chemistry. So i admit, the first week especially i was obsessed and loving the attention. But then when i started to think about it, i felt guilty.
Prior to this i had been spending time in prayer recently thanking god for sending me a wonderful, spiritual, loving husband, that i could nurture and enjoy sharing this journey with. And here i was taking matters into my own hands! Sigh, i almost quit right then and there...
BUT...
something was beginning to happen to my heart,
and his name, was
James
Several weeks ago i was tempted to begin browsing the endless "classifieds" of the online singles market. I must say, that while i viewed this as an extremely acceptable thing for others to do, it certainly wasnt something i would ever admit to doing myself. I am merely 33, and have never struggled to find a relationship ever. However i've never been married, have been left at the alter more than once and haven't got the best track record for finding suitable 'life partners'.
Alas 5 weeks on and here i am, telling the whole world.
It all began as a harmless research project for my best friend D. She is in her 40's and is very ready to met mr Right. According to the stats and endless moaning by woman, finding love over 40's isn't as easy as one would think. In order to give D the best odds possible eharmony seemed like the logical choice. Bere in mind we live in a small seaside community. I think this whole thing was my idea, in all honesty and perhaps i even dare i say hustled her along on the search front. But back to my story...
It began harmlessly enough - free profile, get your matches for free, etc. Well after 1 hour of answering questions about myself and what it is i wanted in someone else i was beginning to understand how this system of matching might just be on to something.
eharmony have a great marketing strategy. They show your profile to other matches, but no-one can communicate with you unless you sign up. Well i wasn't thinking of signing up, but i wasnt about to waste all that effort either...besides what could it hurt?
Oh deary me, here began an obsession with online dating. My iphone lived in my hands those first few weeks, no matter where i was i was laughing, writing, reading, archiving potential matches...by this point i had almost forgotten this was supposed to be about D, and not me!
It didnt take long for me to figure out who i liked and who i didnt. But every single match had the potential to be Mr Right, so long as i could factor in the chemistry. So i admit, the first week especially i was obsessed and loving the attention. But then when i started to think about it, i felt guilty.
Prior to this i had been spending time in prayer recently thanking god for sending me a wonderful, spiritual, loving husband, that i could nurture and enjoy sharing this journey with. And here i was taking matters into my own hands! Sigh, i almost quit right then and there...
BUT...
something was beginning to happen to my heart,
and his name, was
James
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)